An angel suddenly appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean of the college that, in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, he will be given his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom or beauty. Without hesitation, the dean selects infinite wisdom. “Done!” says the angel, and disappears in […]
Working at the Zoo A guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it happened, their star attraction, a gorilla, had passed away the night before and they had carefully preserved his hide.The zoo tells the guy that they’ll pay him well if he would dress
Working at the Zoo / Watching Football / “Intolerance” Read More »
 A church member stopped the pastor and angrily complained that the church had purchased five new brooms-an expenditure that he thought was completely unnecessary. The pastor was surprised at the man’s reaction and mentioned it to the church treasurer, who said, “It’s understandable. How would you feel if you saw
What would you have done? Read More »
A guy goes into the doctor’s office. There’s a banana stuck in one of his ears, a carrot stuck in one nostril, and a cucumber in the other ear.
The man says, “Doc, this is terrible. What’s wrong with me?”
The doctor says, “Well, first of all, you’re not eating right.”
What’s wrong with me? Read More »
A guy is at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafing through the big book to see if the guy is worthy of entering. Saint Peter goes through the book several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, “You know, I can’t see
When did this happen? Read More »
Where’s the Road? A friend and I were driving in the country looking for an address. We found the town, but we couldn’t locate the road. We drove to the police station, but they’d never heard of the road. Neither had the Fire Department. We went to City Hall, where
Where’s the Road? / Stealing Watermelons / “Rain or Shine” Read More »
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Michael’s Hospital. She timidly asked, Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?” The operator said “I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number?” The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, “Norma
An English teacher at Michigan State University spent a lot of time marking grammatical errors on her students’ written work. She wasn’t sure how much impact she was having until one overly busy day when she sat at her desk rubbing her temples. A student asked, “What’s the matter, Mrs.
What is the matter? Read More »
What Will The Neighbors Think? “It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,” Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, “honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?” “Probably that I married you for your money,” she replied. On Contingency?
What will The Neighbors Think? / On Contingency / All Wrong Read More »
What Would You Be? The Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. “Let’s take an example. If I were to get into a man’s pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be? Little Johnny?” “You’d be his wife!”
What Would You Be? / A Nice Surprise / Not Enough Water Read More »
