HumorA guy goes into the doctor’s office. There’s a banana stuck in one of his ears, a carrot stuck in one nostril, and a cucumber in the other ear.

The man says, “Doc, this is terrible. What’s wrong with me?”

The doctor says, “Well, first of all, you’re not eating right.”

What’s this??

A couple goes for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and orders the Chicken Surprise. The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises lightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

“Good grief, did you see that?” she asks her husband.He hasn’t, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again, the lid rises and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening and demands an explanation.“Please sir,” says the waiter, “what you order?”“Chicken Surprise.”

“Ah, so sorry. I bring you Peeking Duck.”

I was talking to… 

Max Weinstein, his wife and two young daughters were on vacation. They were out in a small sailing boat when they were caught in a sudden squall off the shores of Florida.

They were found and towed to Fort Lauderdale and safety by the ever alert U.S. Coast Guard.

“I always knew God would take care of us,” said Max’s composed five-year-old daughter, after the family returned home to New York City.

“I like to hear you say that,” beamed the mother. “Always remember that God is in His heaven watching over us.”

“Oh, I wasn’t talking about that God,” the five-year-old interrupted. “I was talking about the Coast God.”

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