Horror "The number 1 movie at the box office this weekend was ‘Paranormal Activity.’ It’s a low-budget horror film about a couple that sets up a camera in their bedroom at night. The horror comes when she keeps waking him up to talk about their relationship." Temperature In the office
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Art valuation An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. “I have good news and bad news,” the owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in
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Veterinarian There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist. Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income. He opened his
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Summer Camp Counselor to new boy at camp: “We want you to be happy, so enjoy yourself here. If there’s something you want we haven’t got, I’ll show you how to get along without it.” Need money A frantic guy runs out of a Las Vegas hotel and says to
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Mike’s Girlfriend After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend’s new telephone number, I dialed him — and got a woman. “Is Mike there?” I asked. “He’s in the shower,” she responded. “Please tell him his girlfriend called,” I said and hung up. When he didn’t return the call, I dialed
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Anniversary Every year on their wedding anniversary my boss, Woody, and his wife celebrated by staying at the same resort hotel. On their 25th anniversary they booked their usual room. But when the hotel’s bell captain escorted them upstairs, they were in for a big surprise. “There must be some
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Too late now The minister’s little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week that her mother decided to give her the worst kind of punishment. She told her she couldn’t go to the Sunday School Picnic on Saturday. When the day came, her mother felt she had been
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Tree house A man ordered plans for a tree house for his children but received plans for a sailboat instead. He wrote an angry letter of complaint to the company and received this reply: “We can understand your anger about this mistake, but it was nothing compared to the man
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I’m My Own… A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, “How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?” He got the following reply. “Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I married
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Cats vs. Men I’ve never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate
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