Tree house
A man ordered plans for a tree house for his children but received plans for a sailboat instead. He wrote an angry letter of complaint to the company and received this reply:
“We can understand your anger about this mistake, but it was nothing compared to the man who went out on the lake and tried to sail a tree house!”
Holding no grudges
“That was nice of you to set up a blind date for your ex- boyfriend.”
“I know, but I don’t hold any grudges.”
“I’m surprised he trusted you enough to agree to go out with her.”
“Well, I had to swear to him she’s Jennifer Lopez’s double.”
“Wow! Is that true?”
“I wouldn’t lie. She’s twice her weight and twice her age.”
God be with you
My little niece, Kelly, went with a neighbor girl to church for First Communion practice. The pastor has the children cup their hands, and when he gives them the “Host,” in this case, a piece of bread, he says, “God be with you.”
Apparently this made quite an impression on my niece. She came home and told her mother to cup her hands and bend down. Kelly took a piece of bread from her sandwich, placed it in her mother’s hands, and whispered, in her most angelic voice, “God will get you.”
