Your Weight

Recently, I called to make reservations on a small charter plane that departs from the Teterboro airport in New Jersey.

I knew I would be flying in a very small plane, so I wasn’t surprised when the clerk said, “The plane is very full with baggage and passengers.” Then she asked, “How much do you weigh, sir?”

Not thinking clearly, I answered, “With or without clothes?”

“Well,” said the clerk, “how do you intend to travel?”

Piece of Mind

A doctor said to his patient’s husband, “I’m sorry to inform you, but your wife’s mind is completely gone.”

“I’m not surprised. She’s been giving me a piece of it every day for the past seventeen years.”

“Committee Praise”

The new pastor was winding down the service. In the back of the church, the fellowship committee stood to go to the church hall and prepare snacks for the congregation. Seeing them rise, Pastor Mike, not remembering the names of the women he’d so recently met, still wanted to single out their committee for praise.

“Before they all slip out,” he urged, “let’s give these ladies a big hand in the rear.”

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