Eating and Drinking
(a) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
(b) On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
(c) The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
(d) The Italians drink lots of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
(e) Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It’s speaking English that kills you.
The Bible
A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, “I know what the Bible means!”
His father smiled and replied, “What do you mean, you ‘know’ what the Bible means?”
The son replied, “I do know!”
“Okay, said his father. “So,son, what does the Bible mean?”
“That’s easy, Daddy. It stands for ‘Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.’
Lots of Kids
I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers.
One night I was chatting with my Mom about how she had changed as a mother from the first child to the last.
She told me she had mellowed a lot over the years:
“When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance.
When your youngest brother swallowed a 10c piece, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance.”
