A doctor said to his car mechanic, “Your debit is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care.” “Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn’t changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every year.”
I was a 60-year-old widow when I remarried a widower of the same age from our church. We decided on a church wedding, and my husband’s daughter was explaining to her 3 year old what would happen at the ceremony. She did not go to church, and the child had never been either. She told him, “Now, first the preacher will come out, and then Grandpa will come out the door after him.” Not knowing what a “preacher” was, the little boy asked, “Will the CREATURE hurt us?”
An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, “Have you ever been arrested?” he wrote, “No.” The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was “Why?” The applicant answered it anyway: “Never got caught.”
“50 Years from Now”
Three elderly gents were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now.
“I would like my grandchildren to say, ‘He was successful in business,'” declared the first man.
“Fifty years from now,” said the second, “I want them to say, ‘He was a loyal family man.'” Turning to the third gent, he asked, “So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?”
“Me?” the third one replied. “I want them to say, ‘He certainly looks good for his age.'”