Your Real Name
By chance, a man named John Smith witnessed a mugging. When the cops arrived, the officer in charge asked the witness his name.
“John Smith,” John told him.
“Cut the funny business. What’s your real name?”
“All right. Put me down as Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.”
“That’s more like it. You can’t fool me with that John Smith stuff.”
Have a Cookie
A woman, her husband and their three rambunctious young sons were in their car waiting at a traffic light. The woman glanced over at the car next to them, noticing a blissfully happy mother with her baby daughter.
Looking at her husband, she said, “As soon as I lose my weight from the last baby, I want to try for a daughter.”
The husband reached up to the dash, grabbed an open box of snacks and said, “Here, have another cookie.”