The right answer
Golfer 1: “Why are you so late?”
Golfer 2: “I had to toss a coin between going to church or playing golf and it took 25 tosses to get it right!”
Children of Israel
“Teacher,” announced little Joey, “there’s somethin’ I can’t figger out.”
“What’s that Joey?” asked the Sunday school teacher.
“Well accordin’ to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?”
“Right.”
“An’ the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?”
“Er–right.”
“An’ the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?”
“Again you’re right.”
“An’ the Children of Israel fought the ‘gyptians, an’ the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an’ the Children of Israel wuz always doin’ somethin’ important, right?”
“All that is right, too,” agreed the teacher. “So what’s your question?”
“What I wanna know is this,” demanded Joey. “What wuz all the grown-ups doin’?”
Spot on diagnosis
An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural-history museum. “I’ve just discovered a 3,000 year-old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!” the excited scientist exclaimed.
To which the curator replied, “Bring him in. We’ll check it out.”
A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. “You were exactly right about the mummy’s age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?”
“Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that said, ‘10,000 Shekels on Goliath.'”
