New car After shopping for weeks, I finally found the car of my dreams. It was only two years old and in beautiful condition. The salesman asked if I would like to take it for a test drive. We had traveled no more than two miles when the car broke
New car, Say what, Curiosity Read More »
“Enlisting Choices” “Daddy,” said my 11-year-old daughter, “I think I want to join the Army.” “Baby,” I answered, “I think the Air Force would be a better option for you.” “But I don’t want to be a pilot.” “You don’t have to be a pilot,” I told her. “There are
Enlisting Choices, Prison Break, First visit Read More »
“Wilderness Trip” The first carload of Boy Scouts had left my house minutes earlier, bound for our three-day wilderness trip. As I backed my own van load of Scouts out of my garage, I noticed a pair of hiking boots on the back steps, so I stopped to retrieve them.
Wilderness Trip, Parenting, Measuring Hunger Read More »
“Trip Tickets” Mr. and Mrs. Frobisher had just reached the airport in the nick of time to catch the plane for their two-week’s vacation in Majorca. “I wish we’d brought the piano with us,” said Mr. Frobisher. “What on earth for?” asked his wife. “I’ve left the tickets on it.”
Tickets, Teacher, Coast Guard Read More »
Being in love Two friends are discussing the possibility of love. “I thought I was in love three times,” one friend says. “How so?” his friend asks. “Five years ago I deeply cared for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me.” “Was that not love?” his friend asks.
Being in love, Sermons, Corn Problem Read More »
Locksmith My friend’s father is a locksmith in a resort town. Once he saw a group of beach goers park near his shop and dump trash from their car on his property. As soon as they were out of sight, and walking towards the beach, the locksmith picked the lock
Locksmith, Psychiatrist, Conscience Read More »
Qualifications An eighth grade teacher was leading a discussion on the qualifications for being president of the United States. After the teacher commented that a person must be a natural- born citizen. One of the students raised her hand, “Does that mean that if you were born by Caesarean section
Qualifications, Don’t Smoke, Questionnaire Read More »
Things to do in an Elevator 1) When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap him on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you. 2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 3) Ask if you can push
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“Government” A zoning board had just been set up in a new community. A homeowner went to the office to request permission to build a small tool shed in his backyard. “Do you have a plan?” asked the director. “Oh, yes,” said the owner, who showed him a map of
Government, Great Writer, Ventriloquist Read More »
Lost watch I was addressing some mail when I noticed that my card file of frequently used addresses was missing. Thinking it must have fallen from my typing table into the wastebasket, I called the office janitor. “I’ve lost my Rolodex,” I told him. “It may have been picked up
Lost watch, What started the fire, Violin pratice Read More »
