Humor Quotes

Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: One to get in and another to get out.

You know you’re getting old when everything hurts. And what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired

Age is an ugly thing, and it goes on getting worse

If you can remain calm, you just don’t have all the facts

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

Every calendar’s days are numbered.

If you can’t convince ’em, confuse ’em.