Humor Quotes

I WANT to have lots of patience; I just don’t want to NEED it!

I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare

Time is the best teacher; unfortunately, it kills all its students!

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.

The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music.

I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine!

What is a free gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds