Humor Quotes

All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others

Some people want to be vaccinated with a mild dose of Christianity so as to be protected from the real thing.

It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.

I’d rather have Lockheed deliver the mail than ride around in a plane built by the post office

It’s hard to soar like an eagle when you’re surrounded by turkeys

When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.

1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife isn’t saying.

Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.