Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.
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Man cannot live by bread alone. He also needs a roll of duct tape and a can of lubricant
Dog friends
“The reason a dog makes so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.”
Brain cells
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
Some people want to be vaccinated
Some people want to be vaccinated with a mild dose of Christianity so as to be protected from the real thing.