Humor Quotes

“A new study shows that monkeys can look at photos and recognize other monkeys they know. However, the study also shows that monkeys are terrible with names.”

Most auto accidents are caused by mechanical faults – like the loose nut behind the steering wheel.

If it weren’t for the fact that the TV and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn’t get any exercise at all.

“Last night I played a blank tape at full blast and the mime next door went nuts.”

An apology is a good way to have the last word.

By the time you reach 50, people expect you to be mature, responsible, wise, and dignified. This is the time to disillusion them.

“This is little strange. A couple in England named their new daughter Kia because she was delivered in the back seat of a Kia. No one was happier than her older brother – Hospital Bed.”

The noblest of all dogs is the hot-dog; it feeds the hand that bites it.

We had cured ham for Christmas dinner. We all wondered what illness it was cured of.

Education is what you get when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don’t.