Humor and Cartoons

Cell phone call En route to Hawaii, I noticed one of my passengers in the coach section of the airplane dialing her cell phone. “Excuse me. That can’t be on during the flight,” I reminded her. “Besides, we’re over the ocean-you won’t get a signal out here.” “That’s okay,” she

Donations A tired mom opened the front door of her home to find a young minister from the neighborhood who said, “I’m collecting donations for the new children’s home we’re building. I hope you’ll give what you can.” “To be sure,” said the beleaguered woman, “I’ll give you two boys,

Maried a long time To our shock and horror, my sister-in-law and I realized we had each been married nearly 50 years. “That’s a long time,” I observed. “A long, long time,” she agreed. Then she smiled. “Something just occurred to me.” “What’s that?” “If I had killed your brother

Agreeing Little Johnny and a friend were shouting at each other when Mother walked into the playroom. “You two need to quit arguing and learn to agree on things.” she scolded. “We do agree,” said Little Johnny. “We both agree we want the box of crayons right now!” Thanksgiving dinner

Misquoted A farmer was quoted in the Town Gazette as having “2,008 pigs.” He showed up the next morning to declare to the editor, “That’s a misprint! I didn’t say I have 2,008 pigs. I told your reporter that I have 2 sows and 8 pigs.” Ideas children expressed: Noah’s

Pregnancy I was in my ninth month of pregnancy and feeling very uncomfortable. On top of everything, my pleas for sympathy seemed to go unnoticed by my husband. One day I told him, “I hope in your next life you get to be pregnant!” He replied, “I hope in your

I Liked The Sermon, But… A family asked a preacher to come to their home for dinner after church. The child of that family was quite precocious. To encourage conversation the mother asked the little girl how she liked the service. The girl replied, “I liked it, but the sermon

Newspaper Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney. “Did you see the paper?” asked Gallagher. “They say I died!!” “Yes, I saw it!” replied Finney. “Where are ye callin’ from?” Making changes

Kids stuff JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.” Concerned, James asked, “What happened to the flea?” NIKKI (age

Marriage A little five-year-old boy was looking at his parent’s wedding album with his dad who tried to explain the ceremony and its meaning. Finally, the little boy understood, or thought he did, and exclaimed, “I think I get it now! That’s when Mom came to work for us, right?”