Misquoted
A farmer was quoted in the Town Gazette as having “2,008 pigs.” He showed up the next morning to declare to the editor, “That’s a misprint! I didn’t say I have 2,008 pigs. I told your reporter that I have 2 sows and 8 pigs.”
Ideas children expressed:
Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark.
The fifth commandment is humor thy father and mother.
Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
Christians have only one wife. That’s called monotony.
Dirty hands
I’ve never seen a hand so dirty,” Mother said to Little Johnny when he came in from playing.
“Then take a look at this one,” said Little Johnny, holding up his other hand.
Going to court
A New York man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.
When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of the afternoon and he would have to return the next day.
“What for?!” he snapped at the judge.
His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and the sharp query, roared, “Twenty dollars for contempt of court. That’s why!”
Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented. “That’s all right. You don’t have to pay now”
The young man replied, “I’m just seeing if I have enough for two more words.”
