The Pastor’s Parking Space
Maybe you’ve heard the humorous story about the pastor who was having difficulty with his assigned parking space on the church parking lot. People parked in his spot whenever they pleased, even though there was a sign that clearly said, “This space reserved.” He thought the sign needed to be clearer, so he had a different sign made, which read, “Reserved for Pastor Only.” Still people ignored it and parked in his space whenever they felt like it. “Maybe the sign should be more forceful,” he thought. So he devised a more intimidating one, which announced, “Thou shalt not park here.” That sign didn’t make any difference either. Finally, he hit upon the words that worked; in fact, nobody ever took his parking place again. The sign read, “The one who parks here has to preach the sermon next Sunday morning!”
Allergy Medicine
During a revival, the visiting evangelist arrived without his allergy medicine.
Our pastor put him in touch with a doctor in our church for an emergency prescription to get him through the week. The evangelist was so appreciative of the doctor that during the last service, he recommended the doctor to the entire crowd. The ensuing laughter was a mystery to him until after the service.
That was when the host pastor informed him that he had just recommended the local OB-GYN. (Obstetrician Gynecologist)
The Grandma Test
I was out walking with my 4-year-old granddaughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
“Why?” my granddaughter asked.
“Because it’s been on the ground. You don’t know where it’s been, it’s dirty, and probably has germs,” I replied.
At this point, my granddaughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, “Grandma, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart.”
I was thinking quickly, “All Grandmas know this stuff. It’s on the Grandma Test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a Grandma.”
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. “Oh…I get it!” she beamed, “So if you don’t pass the test, you have to be the Grandpa.”
“Exactly,” I replied.
Laundry Comments
A young couple moves into a new neighborhood.
The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside.
“That laundry is not very clean,” she said. “She doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.” Her husband looked on, but remained silent.
Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: “Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?”
The husband said, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.”
