Job security
After being laid off from three jobs in the past year, Van was hired to work in a warehouse.
Unfortunately, one day he lost control of the forklift and drove it off the loading dock. Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said, “I’m sorry, Van, but I’m going to have to withhold 10 percent of each of your paychecks until the damage is paid off.”
“How much will it cost?” Van asked.
“About R45 000” the owner replied.
“Finally!” Van exclaimed. “Job security!”
The quickest way
An American, vacationing in
The local scratched his head. “Are you walking or driving?”
“I’m driving.”
“That’s the quickest way!”
“No Gun Hunting”
There’s this guy who shows up at a cabin where these hunters have gathered to hunt bear.Only he shows up without a gun. The other hunters are very curious. “How you gonna get a bear without a gun?” they ask.
“Do you have a knife?”
“No,” says the guy.
“Do you have a club?”
“No,” says the guy.
“Don’t you worry. I’m gonna get myself a bear. Just wait right here and see.”
The guy leaves the cabin and disappears into the hills for several hours.
Eventually he finds a bear asleep in his den and he kicks the bear and gets it really angry. As the bear wakes up, he starts to chase after the guy, so the guy starts running back towards the cabin.
Finally the hunters hear him running down the hill and yelling, “Open the cabin door! Open the door!”
They open the door and the guy runs into the cabin and holds the door open behind him. To the terror of the other hunters, an angry bear follows close behind, running into the cabin, too.
Then the guy slams the door shut, and says, “You skin that one. I’ll go get another.”
