“Indeed, God has put the body together in such a way that he gives greater dignity to the parts that lack it, so that there will be no disagreements within the body, but rather all the parts will be equally concerned for all the others” (1 Cor 12:24-26).
“I feel like I’ve been attempting to fit a thousand pegs into the relationship hole but not one satisfies you with the words you are looking for me to say.” Those were the words I said to my wife in complete frustration.
We were at an impasse in our relationship for days–yes, days! No matter what I said or how I said it didn’t seem to matter. She was viewing the situation through her grid; I was viewing it through mine. It was like trying to fit a round peg into a square hole that simply wouldn’t work no matter how hard I tried.
Then I said these words: “I’m sorry I could not see your perspective and implied that you had a hurtful motive behind your actions. I know you’ve never done that in the past.” Bingo! Something happened! This peg actually fit! She jumped out of her chair and rushed over to kiss me! Our relationship took a 180˚ turn in six seconds! “How did that happen!?” I pondered what just took place, feeling totally perplexed, but relieved over the fact a resolution came forth.
I realized later I was viewing the situation through my left brain only, where logic and reasoning is processed, as most of us men tend to do. She desired an emotional heart connection with me. She wanted me to identify and attempt to view the situation through her lense and an emotional grid. Once I was able to do this her heart was reopened to me and to our relationship.
Men and women often view situations from two differing vantage points. Men view things from facts. Women view them from its impact on their heart and the relationship. Next time you find yourself at an impasse with your spouse, consider these factors.
Unlike me, you might reduce your game time of “peg and hole”.
Os Hillman
