Humor Quotes

It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.

You only have one childhood. It may as well last your entire life.

Old age: When you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.

If life isn’t worth living, what else can you do with it?

Reaching into a pair of pants and finding money is a great feeling, till the person that owns the pants screams at you.

The bravest thing you can do when you are not brave is to profess courage and act accordingly.

Nobody reads the rules for Monopoly unless there’s an argument.

People never say “it’s only a game” when they’re winning.

Practice makes perfect! Sharpen your sleeping skills.

If you have problems laughing at yourself, just call me. I have no problem laughing at you.