Humor Quotes

No matter how busy people are, they are never too busy to stop and talk about how busy they are.

One half of the world doesn’t understand the other half, and it doesn’t matter which half you’re in.

Ever notice how the people who tell you to settle down are the ones who got you mad in the first place?

The word “aerobics” was invented when the gym instructors got together and said: “If we’re going to charge R200 an hour, we can’t call it Jumping Up And Down.”

There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.

A new government study found that women who carry a little extra weigh live longer than men who mention it.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Don’t give up on your dreams…unless your dreams are really, really stupid.

I’ve been losing my sense of balance…in my checkbook.

Archaeologists never discover anything new.