Take his place
A lawyer phoned the governor’s mansion shortly after mid-night. “I need to talk to the governor, it’s an emergency!” exclaimed the lawyer.
After some cajoling, the governor’s assistant agreed to wake him up. “So, what is it that’s so important that it can’t wait until morning?” grumbled the governor.
“Judge Pierson just died, and I want to take his place,” begged the attorney.
“Well, it’s OK with me if it’s OK with the funeral home,” replied the governor.
Manservant
Because of a shortage of maids, the minister’s wife advertised for a manservant. The next morning a nicely dressed young man came to the front door. “Can you start the breakfast by seven o’clock?” asked the minister.
“I guess so,” answered the man.
“Can you polish all the silver, wash all the dishes, do the laundry, take care of the lawn, wash windows, iron clothes and keep the house neat and tidy?”
“Say, preacher,” said the young fellow rather meekly, “I came here to see about getting married but if it’s going to be as much work as all that, you can count me out right now.”
Which road
A city fellow came to a fork in a country road. “Hey, old-timer,” he shouted to a farmer who was working out in his field. “I’m heading to Brownsville. Does it make any difference which road I take?”
The old man answered, “Not to me, it don’t.”
Blocking the view
As a realtor, I deal with all types of people. Recently, I showed a home to a couple who seemed eager to check out the fantastic view from the living room. But when I dramatically pulled back the drapes, the disappointed husband asked, “Where is the view? Those mountains must be blocking it.”
