Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Yes sir, we serve anybody.
Waiter, waiter. I don’t like the flies in here.
Well come back tomorrow sir, we’ll have some new ones by then.
“Waiter! There’s a dead spider in my soup.”
“Yes I know, sir. It’s the heat that kills them.”
Customer: Could I have a puppy for my son please?
Pet Shop Assistant: Sorry sir, we don’t do swops.
A doctor sent a bill to his patient. Underneath the bill he wrote:
“This bill is now one year old.”
Back came the reply: “Happy Birthday!”
Your pit bull just chased the postman down the road on his bike.
You must be mistaken my dog hasn’t got a bike.
