Neglegence
The brillant lawyer F. E. Smith once defended a bus driver against claims that his negligence had caused injury to a young man’s arm:
“Will you please show us how high you can lift your arm now?” Smith asked the plaintiff.
The young man obediently raised his arm to shoulder level, his face contorted with apparent pain.
“Thank you,” said Smith. “And now, please, will you show us how high you could lift it before the accident?”
The man’s arm shot above his head.
Ball Game
Looking down the stairs at a football game, a fan spots an open seat on the 50-yard line. He asks the man sitting next to it if the seat is taken.
“No,” he replies. “I used to take my wife to all the games, but ever since she passed away, I come alone.”
“Why don’t you invite a friend?”
“I can’t. They’re all at the funeral.”
My father
Visiting his parents’ retirement village in Florida, my middle-aged friend, Tim, went for a swim in the community pool while his elderly father took a walk. Tim struck up a conversation with the only other person in the pool, a five-year-old boy. After a while, Tim’s father returned from his walk and called out, “I’m ready to leave.”
Tim then turned to his new friend and announced that he had to leave because his father was calling. Astonished, the wide-eyed little boy cried, “You’re a kid?”
