At the Beach
Our first day at a resort, my wife and I decided to hit the beach. When I went back to our room to get something to drink, one of the hotel maids was making our bed. I grabbed my cooler and was on my way out when I paused and asked, “Can we drink beer on the beach?”
“Sure,” she said, “but I have to finish the rest of the rooms first.”
As a veterinarian, I was called at home in the middle of the night by a woman in distress. She had swallowed her dog’s heart worm pill by mistake. I knew it wouldn’t harm her, but by law, I’m forbidden to give medical advice. “If your dog had swallowed your pill, you’d call me,” I explained. “In this case, you really should consult your own physician.”
“But it’s one in the morning!” she exclaimed. “I can’t wake my doctor.”
Little Johnny Tested
The school was having trouble with Little Johnny and decided to have him tested by a psychologist.
The first question he was asked was, “If I have ten apples and take away five apples, what is the difference?”
After a brief pause Little Johnny answered, “That’s just what I say, ‘What’s the difference?'”.
When asked whether a pair of trousers were singular or plural, he replied, “Well, they are singular at the top and plural at the bottom.”
Finally the psychologist decided to test his spelling and asked him, “How do you spell Banana?”
After careful consideration he replied, “B A N A N A N A N A N A N A-“
The psychologist interrupted him and said, “Johnny that’s quite enough,” to which he replied, “I know how to spell it, I just don’t know when to stop.”
The psychologist then wrote on his report: “If you are not having problems with Little Johnny it would not be normal.”