Please Hug me!
After eight years of marriage, my husband and I decided to make some changes in our lives. He went on a strict diet – he would eventually lose 50 pounds – and I took a job in a small diner.
After my first day at the diner I returned home from work and gave my husband a big hug.
He seemed to cling to me longer than usual.
“Did you miss me that much today, dear?” I asked.
“No,” came the reply, “but you smell so much like pancakes that I hate to let you go!”
The Mommy Test
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that “Why?” my daughter asked.
“Because it’s been laying outside, you don’t know where it’s been, it’s dirty and probably has germs” I replied. At this point, my daughter looked
at me with total admiration and asked, “Wow! How do you know all this stuff?”
“Uh,” .. I was thinking quickly, “All moms know this stuff. It’s on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a Mommy.”
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. “OH…I get it!” she beamed, “So if you don’t pass the test you have to be the daddy.” “Exactly” I replied back with a big smile on my face.
Direct Object
Teacher to class: “Give me a sentence with a direct object.”
Student: “Everybody thinks our teacher is beautiful.”
Teacher: “Why, thank you. But what is the direct object?”
Student: “A good report card.”
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