Planting Time
A prisoner in jail received a letter from his wife: “I have decided to plant some vegetables in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?”
The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: “Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money.”
A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: “You won’t believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house and dug up all the back garden.”
The prisoner wrote another letter: “Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the vegetables.”
Little Johnny Tested
The school was having trouble with Little Johnny and decided to have him tested by a psychologist.
The first question he was asked was, “If I have ten apples and take away five apples, what is the difference?”
After a brief pause Little Johnny answered, “That’s just what I say, ‘What’s the difference?'”.
When asked whether a pair of trousers were singular or plural, he replied, “Well, they are singular at the top and plural at the bottom.”
Finally the psychologist decided to test his spelling and asked him, “How do you spell Banana?”
After careful consideration he replied, “B A N A N A N A N A N A N A-“
The psychologist interrupted him and said, “Johnny that’s quite enough,” to which he replied, “I know how to spell it, I just don’t know when to stop.”
The psychologist then wrote on his report: “If you are not having problems with Little Johnny it would not be normal.”
Horse Looking
One day a man passed by a farm and saw a beautiful horse.
Hoping to buy the animal, he said to the farmer: “I think your horse looks pretty good, so I’ll give you R 5000 for him.”
“He doesn’t look good, and he’s not for sale,” the farmer said.
The man insisted, “I think he looks good and I’ll up the price to R 10000!”
“He doesn’t look so good,” the farmer said, “but if you want him that much, he’s yours.”
The next day the man came back raging mad. He went up to the farmer and screamed, “You sold me a blind horse! You cheated me!”
The farmer calmly replied, “I told you he didn’t look so good, didn’t I?”
