“Texas Steakhouse”
Three Texas cowboys went to a steakhouse to eat. Each was trying to impress the others.
The first man ordered his steak “rare…red rare.”
The second said, “Just pass mine through the flames and singe it a little. I want to see blood dripping out of it.”
Not to be outdone, the third man said, “Aw, just turn the bull loose and I’ll tear off a hunk as he goes by.”
Never Seen That Before
A young preacher was asked by the local funeral director to hold a graveside burial service at a small local cemetery for someone with no family or friends.
The preacher headed out early, but quickly got himself lost, making several wrong turns. Eventually, a half hour late, he saw the backhoe and its crew, but the hearse was nowhere in sight and the workmen were eating lunch.
The diligent young pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place. Taking out his book, he read the service. Feeling guilty because of his tardiness, he preached an impassioned and lengthy service, sending the deceased to the great beyond in style.
As he was returning to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say, “I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years and I ain’t never seen anything like that.”
Heredity
Father, Mother and their three sons, John (the oldest), Mike (the middle child) and Steve (the youngest) are conversing around the table after dinner. The subject of traits of parents being passed on to children comes up.
The Father says, “John has my eyes, Mike has my creativity and Steve has my intelligence.”
Steve responds, “Daddy, what’s intelligence”?

 

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