Big shot: Did you hear about the man who got a job as a human cannon ball? He was hired and fired the same night.
Good shot: Did you hear about the human cannon ball? He could not retire because they could not find another one of his calibre.
Rash shot: Bob, Jack and Bill were all to face a firing squad. Bob was first. Just before the order to shoot, he screamed “Earthquake!” The squad took fright and fled. Bob jumped the wall and escaped. Then Jack’s turn. He yelled, “Tornado”. He also escaped. Then Bill’s turn came. He thought, ”They are frightened of a disaster.” As the guns were raised, he yelled out “Fire”
Top Dog: What kind of dog can jump higher than a building? Any kind of dog. Buildings can’t jump.
Perfect balance: As a man approached a bank teller’s window, he suddenly tripped and fell forward, but he managed to save himself from falling. The teller asked him, “Did you come here to get your balance?”
Great results: Teacher: “When you take these exam results home to your father his hair will turn gray.” Pupil: “Wow, my dad will be very happy. He is completely bald”
Legal meal: Two lawyers walked into a restaurant and ordered cups of coffee, then pulled their lunches from their briefcases. “Sorry,” said the waitress, “but you can’t eat your own food here.” The lawyers looked at each other, shrugged their shoulder, and swapped their sandwiches.