That Private Williams is a fine shot with a rifle,” observed the sergeant. “Yes,” said the lieutenant, “but I wonder what was his occupation before he joined the army.” “Why is that, sir?” “It’s the way he takes out his handkerchief and wipes his fingerprints off the gun every time he takes a shot.”
Fred: How did it go when you asked the boss for a salary increase?
Joe: He was just like a lamb?
Fred: What do you mean?
Joe: He said bah!
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.
“Is there anything breakable in here?” asked the postal clerk.
“Only the Ten Commandments.” answered the lady.