Out of Gas
After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn’t start because it was out of gas.
A passer-by told me there was a service station a half-mile away, so I took a gas can from the trunk and trudged the distance in the sweltering sun.
The attendant filled my two-gallon can, and I lugged it back and poured the gas into the tank. But when I tried to unlock the car door, it wouldn’t open. Just then, I noticed an identical old car parked a short distance away. That was my car; I had filled a stranger’s gas tank.
Wearily I walked back to the station.
“You know,” the attendant suggested helpfully, “instead of walking back and forth to fill the tank from the can, you could put a couple of litres in the tank and then drive the car here.”
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Job Applications
A few weeks after a young man had been employed, he was called into the Human Resources administrator’s office.
“What is the meaning of this?” the personnel officer asked. “When you applied for this job, you told us you had three years experience. Now I’ve discovered this is the first position you’ve ever held.”
“True,” the young man answered with a smile. “In your advertisement you said you wanted a person with imagination.”
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Drums OK
An anthropologist went to study a far-flung tropical island. He found a guide with a canoe to take him upriver to the remote site where he would make his observations. About noon on the second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums. The anthropologist asked his guide, “What are those drums?”
The guide turned to him and said, “Drums okay, but VERY BAD when they stop.”
As they traveled the drums grew louder and louder. The anthropologist was nervous, but the guide merely repeated, “Drums okay. Drums not bad. When drums stop, then very bad!”
Then the drums suddenly stopped. Terrified, the anthropologist yelled to the guide: “The drums stopped! What now?”
The guide crouched down, covered his head with his hands and said, “Guitar solo.”
