Marriage Names
If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she’d be Yoko Ono Bono.
If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she’d be Dolly Dali.
If Bo Derek married Don Ho. She’d be Bo Ho.
If Oprah Winfrey married Deepak Chopra, she’d be Oprah Chopra.
If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to many Elton John, she’d be 0livia Newton-John Newton John.
If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she’d become Sondra Locke Tress Munster.
If Bea Arthur married Sting, she’d be Bea Sting.
Tannery Taxes
A tax collector went to a tannery. “Why haven’t you paid your taxes?” the collector asked the owner of the tannery.
“Business has been very bad,” answered the tanner.
“Do you mind if I check around the place?” asked the tax man.
“Go ahead,” invited the owner. “You’ll see I have nothing to hide.”
Expensive Cosmetics
Joe’s wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the “miracle” products, she asked, “Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?”
Looking over her carefully, Joe replied, “Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five.”
“Oh, you flatterer!” she gushed.
“Hey, wait a minute!” Joe interrupted.
“I haven’t added them up yet.”
