Truckstop
The trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order with the new waitress.
He said, “I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and pair of running boards.”
The brand new waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, “This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?”
“No,” the cook said. “Three flat tires mean three pancakes; a pair of headlights is two eggs, sunny side up; and running boards are two slices of crisp bacon.”
“Oh, okay!” said the waitress. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer. The trucker asked, “What are the beans for?”
She replied, “I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!”
Doctors examination
During his physical examination, a doctor asked a retired man about his physical activity level.
The man said he spent 3 days a week, every week in the outdoors.
“Well, yesterday afternoon was typical; I took a five-hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through 2 miles of brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I avoided standing on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I ran away from a mad mother bear and then ran away from one angry bull elk. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I went home and went right to bed.”
Amazed by the story, the doctor said, “You must be quite an outdoors man!”
“No,” the guy replied, “I’m just a really bad golfer.”
