I Plead Guilty
After a trial had been going on for
three days, Finley, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and
approached the judge’s bench. “Your Honor, I would like to change my plea
from innocent to guilty on the charges.”
The judge angrily banged his fist on
the desk. “If you’re guilty, why didn’t you say so in the first place and
save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?” he demanded.
Finley looked up wide-eyed and stated,
“Well, when the trial started, I thought I was innocent, but that was
before I heard all of the evidence against me.”
“I Hope I’m Sick”
A fellow was sitting in the doctor’s waiting room, and
said to himself every so often, “Boy, I hope I’m sick!”
After about the fifth or sixth time, the receptionist
couldn’t stand it any longer, and asked, “Why in the world would you want
to be sick, Mr. Jones?”
The man replied, “I’d
hate to be well and feel like this.”
After being away on business, Tim thought it would
be nice to bring his wife a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he
asked the cosmetics clerk.
She showed him a bottle costing $50.
“That’s a bit much,” said Tim, so she
returned with a smaller bottle for $30.
“That’s still quite a bit,” Tim
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15
“What I mean,” said Tim, “is I’d like
to see something really cheap.”
The clerk handed him a