I warned you!
The fragrance department of a major New York City store where I shop is always pushing the latest scents. Attractive models move about the floor offering to spray customers with the newest bouquet.
One day, outside the store’s restaurant, a model sprayed two women who had just finished their lunch. When one woman commented that the perfume was too strong, the model replied, “The fragrance will be softer once it dries and the alcohol wears off.”
“See!” her friend chided. “I told you not to have that second drink.”
Pizza delivery
“What’s the usual tip?” a man growled when a college boy delivered his pizza.
“Well,” the student replied, “this is my first delivery, but the other guys said that if I got a quarter out of you, I’d be doing great.”
“That so?” grunted the man. “In that case, here’s five dollars.”
“Thanks,” the student said, “I’ll put it in my college fund.”
“By the way, what are you studying?”
“Applied psychology.”
“Better housekeeper”
My friend’s husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better.
Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away. When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, “I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath.”
I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, “When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest.”
