Collector’s Item

A collector of rare books ran
into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible he found
in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-another had
printed it.

“Not Gutenberg?”
gasped the collector.

“Yes, that was it!”

“You idiot! You’ve thrown
away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at an auction
for half a million dollars!”

“Oh, I don’t think this
book would have been worth anything close to that much,” replied the man.
“It was scribbled all over in the margins by some clown named Martin


When it comes to tunes, my local music shop prefers the
sound of silence. A sign prominently displayed on a grand piano reads,
“The management is not responsible for the actions of its employees if
your child plays ‘Heart and Soul’ or ‘Chopsticks’ on this instrument.”

very successful businessman
had a meeting with his new

“I love my daughter, and now I welcome
you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for
you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to
the factory every day and learn the operations.”

The son-in-law interrupted, “Oh, um, I
actually hate factories. Can’t stand the noise.”

“I see,” replied the father-in-law.
“Well, then you’ll work in the office and take charge of some of the

“I hate office work, too” said
the son-in-law. “I can’t stand being stuck behind a desk all day.”

“Wait a minute,” said the
father-in-law. “I just made you half-owner of a moneymaking organization,
but you don’t like factories and won’t work in a office. What am I going to do
with you?”

“Easy,” said the young man. “Buy
me out.”

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