Cellphones
We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start a young lady from the center of the row got up and started working her way out. “Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me.”
By the time she got to me I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient so I said, “Couldn’t you have done this a little earlier?” “No!!” she said in a loud whisper, “The TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE message just flashed up on the screen and mine is out in the car.”
Inheritance
I was in my wills and trusts course when the professor posed this question to the students: Why do people choose to have their children, rather than their siblings, inherit their estate?
After students offered various theories, one fellow raised his hand. “This may be a bit off the point,” he said, “but when I was little, when my brother and sister finished playing with me, they would put me into a drawer.”
Sinking boat
One day while out on our fishing boat, we heard a woman calling for help. Pointing frantically toward a sinking row boat, she shouted to us, “My husband can’t swim!”
Although the water was up to his chest, the man remained a fisherman through and through: as we reached down to pull him aboard our boat, he lifted a large, still-struggling salmon in his hand, and yelled, “Take the fish!”
