Newlywed Compromise
For our first New Year’s together as a married couple, my wife offered me a choice of pumpkin pie, cheesecake or orange-date cake.
“Pumpkin pie,” I requested.
“We’ve been eating pumpkin pie since Thanksgiving,” Nancy protested. “Can’t you choose something else?”
“Okay,” I replied, “how about cheesecake?”
Making a face, Nancy said, “After all that rich food you ate over Christmas, surely you don’t want cheesecake.”
Recognizing my limited options, I then selected orange-date cake.
“Oh, I’m glad you chose that one,” Nancy said. “Orange-date cake is a New Year’s tradition in our family.”
Playing Through
A man was about to tee off on the golf course when he felt a tap on his shoulder and a man handed him a card that read, “I am a deaf mute. May I play through, please?”
The first man angrily gave the card back, and made it clear that, no, he may NOT play through, and that his handicap did not give him such a right.
The first man whacked the ball onto the green & left to finish the hole.
Just as he was about to put his ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball, laying him out cold.
When he came to, a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other holding up 4 fingers.
Penny Problems
After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room.
Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking was helping.
His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy’s ear. Sammy was delighted.
In a flash, he snatched it from his father’s hand, swallowed, and then cheerfully demanded, “Do it again, Dad!”
