Am I
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
“Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”
“Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.
“No.” said the Director, “A normal person would pull the plug.”
“Do you want a room with or without a view?”
Lift
Moshe was at his golf club and went into the clubhouse to see whether anyone could offer him a lift to
“Sure,” said
As they’re driving along, Moshe says, “
“That’s my digital clock.”
A few minutes later, Moshe asks, “And what’s that thing on the dashboard moving up and down?”
“That’s my tachometer,” says
Then a few minutes after that, Moshe starts to ask, “What’s that….”
“Hold on a minute, Moshe,” says
“Yes I have, but I’ve never been in the front seat.”
Wedding Tears
During my brother’s wedding, my mother managed to keep from crying until she glanced at my grandparents.
My grandmother had reached over to my grandfather’s wheelchair and gently touched his hand.
That was all it took to start my mother’s tears flowing.
After the wedding, Mom went over to my grandmother and told her how that tender gesture triggered her outburst.
“Well, I’m sorry to ruin your moment,” Grandmother replied,
“but I was just checking to see if he was still alive.”
