Poor paint job
There was a Scottish tradesman, a painter called Jack, who was very interested in making a pound where he could. So he often would thin down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.
As it happened, he got away with this for some time.
Eventually the Presbyterian Church decided to do a big restoration job on one of their biggest churches. Jack put in a painting bid and because his price was so competitive, he got the job.
And so he set to, with a right good will, erecting the trestles and putting up the planks, and buying the paint and…yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with the turpentine.
Well, Jack was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly done, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder. The sky opened and the rain poured down, washing the thin paint from all over the church and knocking Jock fair off the scaffold to land on the lawn.
Now, Jack was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he fell on his knees and cried, “Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?”
And from the thunder, a mighty Voice spoke, “Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!”
Work Reputation
I have a reputation at work for being a strict boss.
One day I was in the break room with another manager. I reached into the refrigerator for my lunch, which was packed in an Ace Hardware paper bag. My co-worker stopped mid-bite and stared
at me, looking a little tense. When I pulled my sandwich out of the bag, he sighed in relief.
“What’s the matter?” I asked him.
“Uh, nothing,” he replied, “I was beginning to think you really do eat nails for lunch.”
The Mayor’s Burden
One of the burdens of office of the small town mayor was his brother in-law, a fellow who liked to throw his or, rather, his in-law’s political weight around. The mayor had instructed his policemen and other city officials to treat him just like they would any other taxpayer.
The brother-in-law got a ticket for overtime parking. He immediately descended in fury on police headquarters, waving the ticket and sputtering, “Hey, do you know who I am?”
The desk sergeant surveyed him calmly, picked up his telephone and dialed the mayor’s office.
“Tell the mayor,” he said to the secretary, “that his brother-in-law is down here and can’t remember his name.”
