Shopping
It was one of those weird coincidences that occurs maybe once in a thousand years: That afternoon there converged on the neighborhood grocery store some 28 husbands, each of whom who had been sent out by their wives with very specific instructions as to what they should buy.
In a further stretch of the laws of probability, each of those men had assured their mates that they were perfectly capable of remembering the items needed without the childish crutch of written instructions.
Picture the scene: more than two dozen adult males wandering the store aisles with glazed-over eyes.
The atmosphere in the grocery store was, well, there is only one word for it –
it was…. listless.
Cussing Deacon
A preacher had a deacon in his church who had a bad habit of cussing.
In his attempt to help the deacon overcome this terrible habit, the preacher decided he should spend some personal time with him. So, he invited him to go fishing.
They were both out in a boat and had their lines in the water when the preacher hooked a big one. He worked it for a long time and finally got the fish up to the edge of the boat when the line broke and the fish got away.
Thoroughly disgusted, the preacher looked over and said, “Brother, something needs to be said!’
Unpaid water bills
They should send “Get Well Soon” cards to people who forgot to pay their water bill.
Bedside Manner
The doctor was making her rounds and walked into the semi-private room in the hospital to examine old Mrs. Williams.
After the exam in his best professional voice, she said smoothly, “You are coughing much more easily this morning.”
“I should,” snapped the patient, “I’ve been practicing all night.”
