Mother in Law
When my demanding mother-in-law found out that I had a pager, I knew that she would buzz me a hundred times a day.
I told her that when she calls she could save time by spelling out “M-O-M” on the phone.
So whenever my pager goes off and it says “666”, I know it’s her.
Helpful Mechanic
Sally told her friend,
“I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker (indicator) fluid.”
Forgotten Teeth
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him, he complained, “I forgot my teeth, what am I going to do now!?”
The man said, “No problem.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. “Try these,” he said.
The speaker tried them on. “Too loose,” he said. The man then said, “I have another pair — try these.”
The speaker tried them on and responded, “Too tight.” The man was not taken back at all.
He said, “I have one more pair. Try them.”
The speaker said, “They fit perfectly.” With that, he ate his meal and gave his speech.
After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went to thank the man who had helped him. “I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I’ve been looking for a good dentist.”
The man replied, “I’m not a dentist. I’m an undertaker.”
