One evening, a wife drew her husband’s attention to the couple next door and said, “Do you see that couple and how devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don’t you do that?”
“I don’t know her well enough.”
A newspaper writer, after working for 17 long years, was finally granted two months leave, during which time he would be fully paid. However, he turned down his boss’ kind offer.
The boss asked, “Why would you turn down such a generous offer?” The newspaper writer said there were 2 reasons.
“Well, what are they?” asked the boss.
“The first,” he said, “is that I thought that my taking such a long leave might affect the newspaper’s circulation.”
The boss asked him what the other reason was.
“The other reason,” replied the writer, “is that I thought my taking such a long leave might NOT affect the newspaper’s circulation.”
Please Initial Here
When I was a newly commissioned Lieutenant in the Army, I was assigned as a temporary assistant in an administrative office in a Military Intelligence unit.
One day, a long memo came around with a cover sheet instructing all assigned officers to read it and initial it as indication of their compliance. I figured it meant me too, so I read and initialed it.
But a few days later, it came back addressed specifically to me. An attached note read, “You are not permanently assigned to this unit and are thus not an authorized signee. Please erase your initials and initial your erasure.”