Spelling
Everyone knows I’m a stickler for good spelling. So when an associate e-mailed technical documents asking me to “decifer” them, I had to set him straight.
“Decipher is spelled with a ‘ph’, not an ‘f’,” I wrote. “In case you’ve forgotten, spell checker comes free with word processing program.”
A minute later his reply: “Must be dephective.”
Giving
A little girl asked her mother for R10 to give to an old lady in the park. Her mother was touched by the child’s kindness, and gave her the dollar.
“There you are, my dear,” said the mother. “But, tell me, isn’t the lady able to work any more?”
“Oh yes,” came the reply. “She sells candy.”
Life insurance
Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their life insurance.
It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before.
Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones’s sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of lifeinsurance to the new recruits, and then said:
“If you have life insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay R 1 200 000 to your beneficiaries. If you don’t have insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government has to pay only a maximum of R 80 000.”
“Now,” he concluded,” which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?
