A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger’s cage at the zoo.
The father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and junior was taking it all in with a serious expression.
Dad,” the boy said finally, “if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up …”
“Yes, son?” the father said expectantly.
“What bus should I take home?” the boy finished.
A father is asked by his friend, “Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?”
“Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector,” replied the boy’s father.
His friend thought for a moment and responded, “That’s a rather strange ambition to have for a career.”
“Well,” said the boy’s father, “he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!”
A woman walked into her house to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Hunting Flies” he responded.
“Oh, killing any?” she asked.
“Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. “How can you tell?”
He responded, “Three were on the TV remote, 2 were on the phone.”