Cheap Hearing Aid
Morris realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money.
“How much do they cost?” he asked the salesperson.
“That depends,” he said. “They run from R20 to R20 000.”
“Let’s see the R20 model,” said Morris the miser.
The salesperson put the device around Morris’ neck. “You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket,” he instructed.
“How does it work?” asked Morris.
“For R20 it doesn’t work,” the salesperson replied. “But when people see it on you, they’ll talk louder!”
First Impressions
A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show everyone he means business!
The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, “And how much money do you make a week?”
Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, “I make R2 000 a week. Why?”
The CEO then hands the guy R2 000 in cash and screams, “Here’s a week’s pay, now GET OUT and don’t come back!”
Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, “Does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?”
With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, “He’s the pizza delivery guy.”
Apprehension
As a new employee for a stock brokerage firm, I went for a month of classroom training. Warning us about the volume of information we were required to memorize, one trainer suggested we make lots of notes on file cards.
When I completed the course, I was assigned to a team where, as suggested, I taped all the file cards, crammed with notes, onto my computer.
On my first day of trading, a veteran broker sat with me. He immediately noticed all the cards, and my apprehension, so he promptly made up a new card, which he taped to my computer.
It read “Breathe.”
