My husband and I often spell words so that our small children won’t understand what we’re saying.
I didn’t realize what a habit this had become until one day when my husband and I were in the grocery store at the soup aisle.
An aggressive young woman banged into our cart, then nudged me over, blocking my access to the soup.
Annoyed, I looked at my husband and said, “Boy is she r-u-d-e!”
“Yeah,” he replied, “but I’ll bet she can s-p-e-l-l.”
Lewis bought two horses and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that he cut the tail off one horse. That worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse’s tail and Lewis was stuck again.
The neighbor suggested he notch the ear of one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again, Lewis couldn’t tell them apart.
The neighbor suggested he measure the horses for height. When he did, he was very pleased to find that the white horse was two inches taller than the black one.
Eggplant For Sale
A grocer put up a sign that read, “Eggplants, 25¢ each or three for a dollar.”
All day long, customers came in exclaiming, “Don’t be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!”
Meekly, the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants. The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, “Aren’t you going to fix the mistake on your sign”?
“What mistake”? the grocer asked. “Before I put up that sign, no one ever bought more than one eggplant.”