Three sermons
One Easter Sunday the Reverend Jones announced to his congregation, ‘My good people, I have here in my hands three sermons……
A R1 000 sermon that lasts five minutes
A R500 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes
And a R200 sermon that lasts a full hour.
Now, we’ll take the collection and see which one I’ll deliver.’
Confessing
Three pastors went to the pastor convention and were all sharing one room. The first pastor said, “Let’s confess our secret sins one to another. I’ll start – my secret sin is I just love to gamble. When I go out of town, it’s cha-ching cha-ching, let the machines ring.”
The second pastor said, “My secret sin is that I just hate working. I copy all my sermons from those given by other pastors.”
The third pastor said, “My secret sin is gossiping and, oh boy, I just can’t wait to get out of this room!”
Locked out
The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn’t quite remember it.
Finally she went to the pastor’s study and asked for help. The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial.
After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment.
Finally he looked serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently.
Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock.
The teacher was amazed. “I’m in awe at your faith, pastor,” she said.
“It’s really nothing,” he answered. “The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling.”
