Shades of Tanning
Before going on vacation, I went to a tanning salon. I was under the lights so long that the protective shades I wore left a big white circle around each eye.
Gazing at myself in the mirror the next day, I thought, “Man, I look like a clown.”
I had almost convinced myself that I was over-reacting until I got in line at the grocery store. I felt a tug at my shirt and looked down to see a toddler staring up at me.
He asked, “Are you giving out balloons?”
Damsel Dress
Once upon a time an evil king captured a beautiful princess and held her hostage in his high tower. Though she was very beautiful he forced her to wear a disgusting and smelly burlap dress.
“You’ll never get away with this,” she cried. “Some brave knight will rescue me!”
“Not in that old, dirty thing,” the evil king replied.
She waited day and night, but it was just as the king predicted. Every knight that saw her in the window of the high tower was scared away by her disgustingly dirty dress. After many months the princess broke down crying and the evil king taunted her:
“You see? I told you no knight would rescue a damsel in this dress!”
Border Declaration
Finishing up our work at a trade show in San Diego, my co-worker Maureen and I decided to go sightseeing across the border in Tijuana, Mexico. While there, we went shopping and bought a few pieces of clay kitchenware.
As we crossed back into the United States, a customs official asked if we had anything of value to report.
“Not really,” Maureen replied, digging in her bag for the bean crock she had purchased.
Everyone around us froze as she continued, “I only bought a little pot.”
